Wednesday, June 29, 2011


My whole department got into a fun discussion the other day about what kind of pistol each of us would like to buy next.  My roomie started by saying he was going to get a Glock 21, along with a 10mm conversion kit for it (since the models 20 and 21 share the same frame), so he could have the choice of a man stopping caliber, or a man-ending caliber.  Someone else mentioned the 3in Taurus Judge (blithering moron), and another tossed around the idea of getting a SiG P238, or a P226.  Most of these being pretty darn good choices.
Oooh, so shiny!
As for myself, I couldn't quite make up my mind.  I'd really prefer something in .45ACP, but I can't settle on what my dream gun would be.  I'm considering one of those double stacked Para Ordinance 1911's, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I'd squee like a little girl if I could get a CZ97BD with the factory wood grips.  Ooh, those things are dead sexy.
Just look at the hawtness of the '97BD!
Either way, it'll still be a while 'till I can afford any pistol, but these are a couple of the small few I would actually consider getting.  But, if I happen to come across an original Jericho 941 for a good price, I'd jump on that in less than half a heartbeat.
because I can't stand that slide mounted safety/de-cocker on the newer models.

Not just lazy this time

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday, but I was experiencing a combination of not feeling up to it, and I was too busy playing that zombie mod for COD4.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Gone, all gone.

So, I don't wanna get into details, but I will say that my weekend was more exiting than I thought it would be.  I was invited last minute to go eat dinner with the roomie's family; right after I had engorged myself just a few moments earlier.

We followed that up by going shooting, and naturally I end up forgetting a rather crucial bit of equipment (the friggin earplugs!).  So, we make the best of it, and just use some napkins, and continue unhindered.  That is, until after a few minutes, about a hundred yards northeast of us, a freaking brush fire decides to crash the party!  Holy crap!  Is there no end to the amount of fail here?

We head home, and when I sit down to unwind, thinking my day is over, I get a garbled and confusing call from 'The Curs·ed Woman'.  I don't wanna bore anyone with specifics, but I highly doubt I'll be calling upon her anytime in the near (or distant) future.  Jeez.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're saying, "Well that's just a bad weekend" or "Seems like a pretty bad story", but no, THIS IS MY LIFE.  Welcome to irony, population: 1.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Kind of my policy

I'm just way too lazy to write stuff on Sundays.  So, enjoy some music.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Just one more thing,

I just saw the news on BBC, that Peter Falk is no longer around to pester the world's most devious murderers.  It's news that I find especially sad, because who in the hell is going to be putting the pressure on the ATF now?  The world still needed you, Columbo.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Research project

So, earlier in the week, my boss asked me to spend the morning researching the prices and procedures for obtaining a 9mm semi-auto SBR clone of an MP5.  It's his idea of a summer project for him and his friend, apparently.  Given the choice, I would have gone for a 10mm, even though they are harder to come by (not to mention the pricier ammo).  Either way, it's a nice way to spend a morning at work.

Yup, regardless of what caliber, they be real beauties.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

But when all else fails,

There's always The Stig.  With almost nothing to look forward to, I was beginning to feel this weekend will be pretty bleak, but then I remembered that the first episode of season 17 of Top Gear stars tomorrow (oops) this Sunday.  Although, as awesome as that show is, it still doesn't brighten things up by any significant amount.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I'm not superstious, but...

So, I bought three bottles of Jones Soda a few days ago, and I usually enjoy reading the fortunes "swiped from actual fortune cookies" under the bottle caps.  I don't really believe in the divine validity of fortune cookies, but I do enjoy trying to find a nice irony in them, or blatantly criticize 'em.  Anyways, early in the afternoon, I cracked open my first one to get a rather ominous message stating, "Your fantasy will come true."  I kind of chuckled and began to fantasize about that conversion for an M1 Garand that lets it take M1918 mags, and promptly let the fortune slip from my mind. 
The T20.  Dead sexy.
A little over an hour or so later, I figured I was ready for another one, so I twist the cap off and read it's less than cryptic words, which were printed, "Your love life will be happy and harmonious."  The smile quickly fades from my face as I take in this message, and I soon grab the other liberated bottle cap and compare them.  I quickly shudder, and begin to suspiciously eye the last remaining bottle of Jones resting on the opposite end of the coffee table in front of me.  I could only view it as an oppressive monolith, filled with pure bottled evil, as I slowly slide away from it, tucking myself into the far end of the couch.  Never had I been so creeped out by an inanimate object before.  Needless to say, I've never bothered opening that last bottle of  soda...
I swear, these bastards are out to kill me.
Why can't I get cool fortunes under my cap?  Like this one, for example.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Oh, now that's just sad.

Is it bad that when I went to go check my bank account, and realized I had a lot more money than I thought, I immediately assumed there was a MASSIVE problem rather than the fact that I actually had a bit of money to my name? 

Monday, June 20, 2011

The talking doesn't end

So I got a call while at work from "The Curs·ed Woman", an unusual event, indeed.  Personal calls aren't out of the question at my work, so I answered.

Now, my coworkers, the sharp, pointy-ended tools they are, who have known me for years, noticed this and came to the realization that this is VERY out of the ordinary for one such as myself.  Him?  Talking to a woman in a familiar manner?  The same one who, for eons avoided women like they were diseased bear traps?  Yup.  So, like a ravenous pack of lions, they slowly crept out of the brush to gather for an attack.

Not knowing of the danger lurking nearby, I exchanged the usual greetings between us and inquired about her day.  Now, was their time to strike.  The first lunges with his jaws open, "Hey! No kinky phone calls are allowed at work!"  Followed by another spouting, "What are you doing man!?!"

Misunderstanding the situation, she asks, "Are they jealous?  Just tell them life will eventually get better."

I reply, "No, you don't get it.  I work with standard nerds, and they all work in IT.  They're all living the F-ing dream!"

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Going outdoors

The weather outside is too nice to ignore, so just music for you today.

Man, I really like this girl's style, but she hardly ever updates her youtube channel.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Screw this

After years of hard work, diligence, and dedication, I'm one day dumb enough to actually seek out human contact, and this is the way it has to end.

Hardly working

So, one of my coworkers spent three hours working on the following prank email.  To no avail, because I knew exactly who it was as soon as he sent it, but my reply is posted below it, written in blue.

Yeah, I work with a bunch of freaking nerds, and I like it.


Just so you're aware, my work has decided that everyone should be wearing a blue ribbon for men's health week; more particularly focusing on testicular cancer.  Now, is it just me, or is it insanely ironic that they picked the color blue for that?

So, yeah.  There's a reason men don't actually give a crap about men's health awareness.  We're all too busy worrying about real problems.  Like breast cancer...

and yes, it's an actual product

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Aaron Zelman is my new hero!

A-holes That Fail (ATF)

My roommate was complaining about having to work with US customs to fix a small error our company was getting with some international shipping to Mexico.  He spent about 20 minutes on hold, only to have a phone ring for five minutes straight before just hanging up. 

He complained by saying, “This sucks, I’m stuck working with these idiots, and it’s not like there’s any hope, because there’s no one else that can help with this stuff.”

I simply replied, “You should just call the ATF.  They know how to get to Mexico”

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wordsmith's leftovers

So, after some serious procrastination, I finally decided to go to the used books store down the street.  Why the long wait, you ask?  Well, because to me, there's few things more depressing than going to a bookstore and knowing you'll never be able to get anything.

Then again, I don't really have a lot of money now, but the point is that I at least have enough that I could get one later if I wanted to.  Aw, hell, who am I kidding?  I'm definitely gonna end up blowing some money on a book or two...or three...or whatever. 

As an afterthought, one thing I tend to notice in used book shops, is that there's almost always a severe lack of really good non-fiction books.  Mountains upon mountains of (even quality) fiction, but hardly ever a similar amount of great non-fiction.  I guess that just peaks to the usefulness of the things I read (Hah! As if.)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

We have technology

Just was fiddling around with those PowerEdge 2850 severs I got from work.  Sad to see they aren't worth as much as I was hoping for, but interesting stuff, nonetheless.  Anyways, enough with the techno-babble, let's get on with life.

I was recently told by just about everyone at work that I should moonlight as a voice actor.  I honestly don't think I'm that good, but apparently I give everyone there a good enough laugh that they seriously suggest it.  Especially when they request my impression of "Stewart Gilligan Griffin", it seems I am rather impressive.

Not much else exciting, other than the fact that my spare computer is now dying as well.  Hopefully everything can be solved with a simple re installation of windows, but I will remain ever pessimistic.

Holy crap, I'm tired.  I just looked at the screen and noticed that everything has been marked red by the spellchecker.  Super.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Jumping on the bandwagon

So, Jennifer had posed the question, "how did you become a gunnie?"  So, since I haven't come up with anything of note lately, I might as well answer that one.

I always had an uneducated interest in guns, but just in the same way that a kid would think of a nice toy.  Kinda like how a Top Gear fan may hold a fascination with super-cars.  I thought of them as something that could be fun, but always as something somewhat unobtainable.  There were a few times in my youth, when living in the People's Republic of Kalifornia, that I managed to go to a range with my Mom and shoot once or twice, but I was so young, I barely remember it.

No, the real moment I made the conscious decision that I really enjoyed shooting, was much later.  It was a hot summer day out in southern Utah, in which I was out of school, and had nothing to do.  My (at the time) stepfather, had recently acquired a .45 automatic from my Uncle (a big-time gun hoarder) as a way to kind of keep up with the Jones'.  I don't remember for the life of me what gun it actually was, but it really doesn't matter at this point (but I think it may have been a 1911).  If memory serves, he was going to give it a first try, and at the same time, Mom wanted me out of the house, so off we went.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

because I'm too lazy

Yup, just music.  But, hey, at least it's good music.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Drawing a _____

Brain all not smart no poop.  Yeah, this seems to be happening to me more often.  I'll have something relatively interesting in mind to write, then I come to the realization that I no longer have to work on the weekends any more, and whammo!  It's like all thought processes just immediately shut down for the next couple days.  That being said, I'll figure out something of interest to post before Monday rears it's ugly head.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


And so, spring soon begat summer.  I sure as heck aint' gonna like it though.  I'm one of the weird people who already misses the cold and wet weather we enjoyed not too long ago.  Phooey. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Conversations at work 2.0

So, we have a really young guy in our department that is really nice, but often says stuff that is completely unverified.  I don't think he means to be a pathological liar, but sometimes comes across as one.  The only part about that which bugs me is the fact he's willing to defend to the death his unfounded opinions.  Lucky me though, I like to use some classic misdirection to throw him off of his arguments.  For example, today he started giving me crap over getting something wrong for the first time (even though I admitted it, which he never does).  So, I looked at him with the most serious face I could muster, and asked, " That's a really nice shirt.  Do you like the feel of it?"
"Well, yeah" He responds confusingly.
"Good. Then it'll feel even greater when I give you a hug to make you feel better about losing this argument"
Everyone in the department started cracking up. 

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Conversations at Whole Foods: postdated edition.

So, a while back, I was in the mood for some chocolate.  I ended up at the local Whole Foods, grabbing some of their fresh brownies, when an irresistible urge came upon me while waiting in a crowded line.  I got to the cashier, who asks me if that is everything, and I could hold it in no more.
I ask somewhat loudly, "Yes, but could you tell me, just how much THC is in these things?"

All other people in the line either go silent or give a hushed gasp.  Got a good laugh from the cashier, though.


Tam lists her body's numbers.  Now that's one hot chick.  I wish I could be rocking that much awesomeness.

Never thought I would be this jealous of and so attracted to a "rusty old addict"


Okay, I'll admit it.  I missed another day.  It's just been busy 'round these parts recently.  That, and despite the busyness, not much is happening.  No, really.  Nothing.  Well, I guess if I really wanna use the term 'news' broadly, I did get a free Bluetooth keyboard and mouse combo from my work.  Not complaining about that one.  In fact, I was just about to start fiddling with it right nowe+rq*w;e/o jg;ao@#$&we0r=8934 15]

Sunday, June 5, 2011

A first time for everything

Enter scene: roomie tells me his brother wants to go shooting, I say, Great!  We take almost an hour packing up just about every last shooting related goodie we have and set off.  Then, right as we pull in to out favorite plinking spot, it hits me like a retarded drunken monkey.  I left my box of 100 12 guage shells at home, almost 18 miles away.  Crap.


Just didn't feel like posting yesterday.  So there.

But, I guess I'll post some music now. So, here.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Well that's exiting

So, Fridays have already established themselves as a slow day at my work, and sometimes I struggle to figure out things I can do, but fate decided to throw me a hand grenade today instead.

See, my cubicle is situated in such a manner that I can look down the hallway that leads to the bathrooms.  This doesn't really bother me most of the time, but today is a bit different.  I noticed some unusual movement out of the corner of my eye, and glanced up from my monitor to see what it was.  Next thing I know, I'm staring down the barrel of a torrent of water gushing out from the bottom of the women's restroom, like it's some kind of slightly less gory reenactment of 'The Shining'.
Holy frakking redrum, Batman!
Being the new guy, everyone thought I was joking around when I called for help.  Not more than a few minutes later, we have the entire IT department shut down, while all of Maintenance is there scrambling to contain the "toilet explosion."  So, our entire department ends up having to relocate or strait up shut down for the day.  Yeah, I was hoping for some excitement, NOT excrement!  Seems fate loves to screw with me entirely way too much.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

If I knew you were coming, I'd...

mmmmmm......cake.  It's true.  The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  You just have to remember to thrust the knife up after getting it in there.  Long story short, I get to be canary for a would be baker.  So if I die, let it be known that I died getting fatter in the best way possible.

In other news, I was watching the video that's up on The Firearm Blog about SiG's 'ol SG550 series rifles.  I've had more than a few opportunities to get some fun time with the 551 model, and can say that I absolutely LOVE those things.  It just saddens and pains my heart to know that the pointless importation laws we have, prevent more of these things from being available.  Instead, we have to deal with that cheap american wannabe (the 556) that negates all the advantages of the system.  Like having to use worthless AR-15 mags instead of those nifty clip-together polymer ones, or the complete lack of diopter sights in favor of those crappy flip-up aperture things, or worst of all, that it has that flimsy M4 style stock.
The SG551.  Soooo beautiful...
Ok now, who came up with this crap?
Maybe I'm more than a little harsh, because I do think the 556 is a good gun, it's just that I think it's nearly worthless compared to it's own heritage.  I can only hope those ridiculous importation laws will go the way of the Dodo, and that nobody supporting that crap, will be running in the next election.

Update:  Crap. While writing this, I just heard from JayG, that Romney has announced his intention to run for the office.  Just great.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I hate apple and at&t

Yes, I also didn't capitalize them on purpose.  Had my first kinda stressful day at work, and it's all their fault.  I swear, if I ever get my hands on the people responsible for either company, there will be enough material from that encounter to fill an entire crime channel's worth of time slots for years.  So, with everything in my heart, die in a fire (or preferably worse) you worthless, blood-sucking, retarded companies.

And, no, I'm not going into more detail.  Because it's just that stupid.