Thursday, January 10, 2013

Reason I am single #191

Get ready for the most random post ever!  Ready?  Okay, too bad.

I don't care who the person is, what they look like, or how I came to know them; although flattering, I will always find flirting over the internet extremely weird and more than a little awkward.   My reaction is always thus:
(Thanks to the Unwanted Blog)
On a completely different note, you can just add an expression of horrified fear and intense vomiting to that scenario, and that's also what happens when I find out a married woman is hitting on me.

Now, for some unrelated, random whatnot to prove how mundane my life actually is.  Like yesterday when I got into a conversation with a coworker, and I noticed a small dog bone in his hand.

Me:  Wait.  Is that a dog bone?
Coworker:  Yeah someone gave it to me for my dogs.
Me:  You have dogs?
Coworker:  Yeah, is that surprising?
Me:  Hold on.  They're not small dogs, are they?
Coworker:  Yes.
Me:  Dude, that's not cool.  That's like the sad, pathetic male equivalent to being a crazy cat lady.

Okay, what else have I done recently?  Lets see here...um...well, I watched a lot of MST3K yesterday, I'm still anxiously awaiting for that dang flashlight mount for my shotgun to arrive, I read up in the 1974 Navy SEAL manual on how to either kill or knock someone unconscious using their own helmet, and I watched The Road Warrior again the other day.  Three times.  Back to back.  Man, I should get out more.
My favorite scene of the greatest action movie ever....I mean EVER!
Though, the case for not going out more often is starting to look pretty good, especially when I'm alerted by Rob Allen to things like this article.  As Rob puts it, the article is nothing but a bunch of stupid, pants sh*tting hysterics (PSH), but the comments are the real treasure.  Hundreds of people giving awesome comments about how irrational the author is, and the first negative commenter I read couldn't even spell correctly.  Hilarious!

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