So, I bought three bottles of Jones Soda a few days ago, and I usually enjoy reading the fortunes "swiped from actual fortune cookies" under the bottle caps. I don't really believe in the divine validity of fortune cookies, but I do enjoy trying to find a nice irony in them, or blatantly criticize 'em. Anyways, early in the afternoon, I cracked open my first one to get a rather ominous message stating, "Your fantasy will come true." I kind of chuckled and began to fantasize about that conversion for an M1 Garand that lets it take M1918 mags, and promptly let the fortune slip from my mind.
A little over an hour or so later, I figured I was ready for another one, so I twist the cap off and read it's less than cryptic words, which were printed, "Your love life will be happy and harmonious." The smile quickly fades from my face as I take in this message, and I soon grab the other liberated bottle cap and compare them. I quickly shudder, and begin to suspiciously eye the last remaining bottle of Jones resting on the opposite end of the coffee table in front of me. I could only view it as an oppressive monolith, filled with pure bottled evil, as I slowly slide away from it, tucking myself into the far end of the couch. Never had I been so creeped out by an inanimate object before. Needless to say, I've never bothered opening that last bottle of soda...
Why can't I get cool fortunes under my cap? Like this one, for example.
|The T20. Dead sexy.|
|I swear, these bastards are out to kill me.|