Friday, November 30, 2012

Locutus of none

Sometimes I forget things.  Sometimes I forget important things.  Sometimes people are shocked at the things I forget.  Take yesterday for example.  I completely forgot that I had bought a ticket (along with the rest of the systems staff) to go see the restored and remastered Star Trek The Next Generation Season 2 episodes "Q Who" and "Measure of a Man" featured at the local Cinemark Theatre. 

It was simultaneously better and yet not as good as I thought they would be, if that makes sense.  It was awesome to see everything in high-def on the big screen.  It almost gave me the feeling like I was watching it for the first time.  However, from what I was told beforehand, I was under the impression that the special effects would be of a much higher quality, which they were far from.  I was also mistakenly led to believe they would have it in wide screen, which also is apparently not the case.  Somewhat disappointing, but still good stuff, and watching them again only reinforces my hardcore trekkie mentality.

Also what struck me as the show ended, was that it's only a few short days until the decommissioning ceremony for the real USS Enterprise.  It's kind of depressing knowing that there's not gonna be any more U.S.S. Enterprise on Star Trek (at least on TV), the Enterprise Space Shuttle Orbiter has already been damaged and is in disrepair, and now the first and last of the great class of warships of her name will be scrapped and gone in a short amount of time.  It's the end of an era, and truly the worst of both worlds.

P.S.  Note to the U.S. Navy and whoever names their warships: stop naming your warships after douche-bag politicians and give 'em the traditional kick-ass names you used to treasure, like Enterprise, Long Beach, Hornet, Ranger, Cyclops, Intrepid, Lexington, Coral Sea, or Reprisal (that last one is especially cool).  Heck, naming them after admiralty or other beneficial Americans that have already had ships named after them that aren't being used anymore would be good too, because then you can use names like Fletcher, Watson, Cogswell, Ingersoll, De Haven, and Gatling (oh yeah!).
A pic of the USS Cyclops, circa 1911.  (ripped from wikipedia)
Oh, here's an idea: the USS Cthulhu!  Now that's an awesome name for a ship.  Think about it.  Who in the hell would ever want to challenge a ship with a name like that?  Seriously Navy, you're welcome.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

know what makes a bullet hole that aint' a bullet? Cuz I don't.

As much as I truly love it, there is one thing I can't stand about KSL's classifieds section; it seems like I see a ridiculous amount of airsoft/bb guns listed in both the Rifles and Pistols categories of the site.  Now, I don't mind airsoft; in fact, I can see some pretty cool benefits to it along with it being pretty fun (not to mention it being slightly cheaper than my beloved paintball).  But it just drives me nuts that 1. people are dumb enough to post something in the firearms category that doesn't involve fire at all (or even go bang for that matter), and 2. that KSL doesn't have a separate category for them on their site.  I'm thinking I'll have to write them an email about that once I get over my laziness to appease my latent OCD.
To me, this is just a warning that it's nowhere near as fun as it could be.
On a less teeth gritting OCD note, I tend to get an even more weird and random sense of humor when I'm very busy.  In addressing a co worker today, I couldn't help but use a high-pitched voice.  When I was asked why, I said, "I dunno, I just thought it would be fun."
She replied, "Hey, I'm a big fan of all types of fun."
"Just don't go saying that around the seedy parts of town."

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


So back to another edition of "Reasons why I am single".  This time it's numbers #1043 and #638, respectively. 

This morning I woke up still coming to grips with just how awesome my night had been.  I had talked to this amazing girl I know on the phone for hours, and near the end of our conversation, she told me that she was crazy about me, and I told her the same.  We set a time to see each other before ending our call.  I was completely elated; so much that I had a difficult time going to sleep the night before.

So there I am, singing praises as I hop into the shower, looking forward to my meeting with this girl.  As I'm in the shower, I suddenly realize I couldn't remember for the life of me, when I was supposed to meet this girl.  Upon further reflection, I couldn't remember placing or receiving that call either.  Then it hits me.  It was a mother effing dream!  Crap in a hat.  That's a real downer to start the day with: I'm so lonely that even my subconscious is trying to make me happy by instilling false hope.  That's bad.

On to the second reason: I have no humanity.  I cry at the things no one else cares about, and am stone-faced and downright disrespectful of all the other things everyone else cries about. 

Like later on this same day, when I was home for lunch, I found the youtube video I had been trying to find for along time, in which one of the last F-14 Tomcats to be retired does a flight demo and runs the engines completely dry before being sent to a display in a park.  Just hearing those GE F110 engines whine while straining and sputtering before they finally quit for the last time may be the single most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen on film.  I was nearly balling, and had to fight the tears before going back to work.  But then, right after I watch that, and hop back in the car to go to work, the radio decides to remind me of it again by playing that song by The Righteous Brothers: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling.  That's the point in which I lost it.  So yeah, I ended up getting embarrassed (watch the first video while the other is playing in the background for maximum effect).

That actually started a conversation with one of my coworkers about tearjerker films and how I never cry while watching things that everyone else calls a tearjerker.  Things like Titanic, The Notebook (yeah, I will hate that one forever), West Side Story/Romeo and Juliet (same story anyways), Hope Floats, Forrest Gump, Marley and Me, The Lion King, Saving Private Ryan, Spanglish, or whatever the hell else normal people cry while watching.  I like most of 'em, I just don't cry while watching 'em.  However, that's not to say I don't cry when I see certain things on screen.

So let's list some of the media I have cried to, or brought me to the brink of crying (and probably still do):

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Stupid questions

So, after exchanging the usual pleasantries with my boss, he asked me, "How was your Thanksgiving?"
To which I replied, "Good."
He then followed up with one of the dumbest questions I've heard in a while, "So what were you thankful for?"
A bit puzzled by the ridiculousness of the question, it took me a second to reply, "That my government continues to refuse to sign the ban on cluster munitions.  Love that."

He was speechless.  The moral of the story?  When people say there are no stupid questions, they're just making a stupid statement.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Time away

Going "home" for the holidays is an interesting thing.  I love seeing all my relatives and engorging myself on good food, all while relaxing away from work. But, it's simply an interesting sensation when you go to a place you've lived a good portion of your life, and it just feels like some place you're familiar with and not like "home."  Not that I don't feel at home or welcomed, it's just not my home, is all.

Also, as much as I complain about the tediousness of the drive to the underbelly of the state, I do enjoy driving enough that I still enjoy the trip.  It is pretty scenic.  That, and you never know what cool stuff you'll see on there way there and back.  I think I mentioned about how last time I saw a KC-135 making touch and go passes at the Cedar City airport, which was cool.  However, the attractions this time were a bit more mundane.  I just ended up counting the inordinately high amount of roadkill deer on the shoulder. I think I got to about 12 before I stopped paying attention.

Darn.  Looks like I just missed getting the roadkill in the frame.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Slipping up the right way

Oh, and here's some good music, and actually on Sunday for once.

more random quotes

So yesterday, I somehow managed to get the roomie to start playing Red Orchestra 2.  It's a really fun game, but with a pretty big learning curve.  When he first got into the game with me and my brother, he accidentally started pouring fine on to a friendly tank, when my brother started to inform him of his error.

Bro:  "Dude, you're shooting at a Russian tank!  You're on the Russian side!"
Roomie:  "Hey, how long have I been playing this game?  I'm not real familiar with what WWII Russian tanks look like.  Besides, I bet St.Grendel has a book for that"
Me:  "Yes. Yes I do.  I actually have a few"
Roomie:  "See?"

Also, a few months back there was another one that made me laugh pretty hard.  I was carrying my gun case (the one shaped like a guitar) from the car to the apartment, when an older woman noticed me and had to say something.

Woman:  "Oh, you're a musician eh?"
Me:  "Not that kind of instrument ma'am."

Good times.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Working holiday

So today was the day of my work's Thanksgiving shindig.  But the real joy is knowing I don't need to go to work next week, and that we practically have no work to do today.  A nice change of pace.   I think the most strenuous thing we had to do today was stock up the supply room with all of our snacks and sodas without our boss noticing, because he'll just end up mooching it off us without asking.  That, and the roomie insisted on test flying some remote control helicopters in the very same supply room.  yeah, hard at work here.
Yeah, hard at work here.
Hey, these are needed buisness supplies.
On a nearly unrelated note, I'm really itching to revisit Hill AFB Museum again.  If I don't go there once every six months I get all jittery.  Though, that may be a good thing for everyone else, since I've been told that taking me there is like letting a drug addict loose in a pharmacy.  But, without my fix, I'll just end up wasting all my time on flight sims and really moto youtube vids.  Like this one, or this one (seriously, these things are like porn for me). 

Just one improvement I would suggest to the guys at the Hill museum, is that they totally need to get their hands on some Harriers and a Tomcat or two, then it would be complete.  Though, it is an Air Force gig, so maybe they just aren't so keen on getting any more of those 'squid' planes.

Friday, November 16, 2012

I wish I could literally knock sense into people

I also forgot to mention a while back, that during the last night of the election, I saw some reporter on BBC, who said on live TV that Obama can't be racist because he's black.  So, just for the record (because a vast majority of reporters don't seem to like to fact-checking), according to logic, reason, and common sense, that doesn't absolve him of jack sh*t.  Being the same thing as something you seem to dislike, work against, or hurt is more likely to just make you a hypocrite on top of racist, in my eyes. 

Kinda like how the title of my last post slurs fat people.  Just because I'm fat doesn't change the meaning of that statement at all......crap.

It's like a million fat people cried out...

So yeah, Hostess is out of business.  Say goodbye to those cupcakes, ding-dongs, and the infamous twinkie.  Thinking about it, the thing that may upset me the most about it, is that a few years from now, when the younger generation watches Ghostbusters (assuming they haven't bastardized it with a crappy remake), the 'big twinkie' line will be just another outdated reference in an old movie, rather than being timeless. 

Actually, the reason I have such an interest in this story is that my close friend's father has worked for Hostess for 30 years at their Ogden plant, but now all that seems to be going down the tubes.

Oh, and as a side note, after doing some research, found out the leader of the union for Hostess workers is one of the executives of Sarah Lee (or was it Little Debbie?).  Yeah, that's not criminally shady at all.  Looks like putting Hostess out of business and throwing the members of his own union under the bus was his plan all along.  Twinkies. They'll survive a nuclear holocaust, but not the 'progressive' socialistic march of union thugs.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Almost made me feel better about CVN-65...

...if it were built, that is!

So, in between all the meetings, briefings, and free lunches, I forgot to post something cool I saw via The Unwanted Blog.  It is without a doubt, the coolest, most awesome, amazing, and nerdy thing that could have been: a 1:1 scale version of the Enterprise that was to be built in Vegas in 1992.  Go check it out.  It will send you into a nerdgasm induced seizure.

Click the pic to read the full story
As for a status update on the actual Enterprise, she's now home and awaiting her deactivation.  Ceremonies will commence on Nov. 28th - Dec. 1st; a mere three days after the mark of her 51st year in service.  Hopefully I won't start crying like I did when they retired the mean, that'll be a sad day.

Monday, November 12, 2012

What did I miss?

My work is trying to kill me, all while trying to keep us all "healthy".  I just heard that HR was trying to discourage people from having candy jars on their desk (which everyone does).  My boss describing them as "fat pills".   Anyways, I thought it was an ridiculously extreme measure for a dubious purpose (reducing health care costs), because I don't think that's the problem.  The company often buys stuff for their departments that is just blatantly unhealthy.  Even today, sales was trying to get rid of caramel brownies, peanut butter brownies, chocolate strawberry cake, chips, and sandwiches that were all provided to them by the company.  Then there's purchasing, that is sharing oreo cheesecake from the cheesecake factory.  So shame on you HR.  You're the ones to blame for us having nothing but crap to stuff in our pie holes.

And to just give you a bit of stupid humor, here's a conversation I was having with a friend a while ago. My opinion highlighted in pink, because I can.

Her:  I like funny movies or movies with Jason Statham in them.
Me:  Wow. Didn't know about that Jason Statham thing.  That's just shocking. (I'm obviously not a fan)
Her:  Yeah, I wish I had a cardboard cutout of him.
Me:  I dunno if cardboard can withstand that kind of punishment...


I might as well just call it Monday Music now that I keep forgetting to post it on Sunday.  Anyways, here's what I got for ya.  A bit different, but I like it.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

It's the fallout that kills ya

Another random thought of the day from yours truly.  What I said in retort to the age-old saying of "all is fair in love and war.":
No.  All is only fair in war.  For example, you never hear of anything like "global thermonuclear love."  But, then again, now that I say it, that sounds too cool to not give it a shot.

Man, I can be really retarded sometimes.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I miss my candy corn and zima

Now, those who know me may already know that I'm disappointed by the results of the election.  There's really a whole laundry list of reasons why, but both me and my roommate had a moment of silence for the one that means the most to both of us:  Say goodbye to anything resembling reasonable or affordable prices for guns and/or ammunition for the next four years at least.  Guess that passion is gonna be hurting for a while.  Statistics from about earlier years are listed below:

As a side note, the thing I hate most about the election has been the fact that every news outlet seems to be foaming at the mouth to make the coverage all about race and racial issues that are mostly irrelevant, rather than the vast multitude of things that actually matter.  Kind of like how absolutely nobody brought up the recent fiasco in Benghazi or the Operation Fast and Furious killing US law enforcement officers along with hundreds of innocent Mexicans.  Or how everyone in the media still insists the teapartiers are a racist organization, when really it's only focus is purely on economic issues, and government fiscal responsibility.  Gotta love all that 'fair and balanced reporting' stuff.

Oh, and bonus points to who guesses the refrence made in the title of the post.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I can feel it in my code...

In my typical "the world doesn't exist" style, I'm not writing about anything major that's going on in the news, the election, the aftermath of the storm, etc.  Just gonna jot down whatever crap comes to mind that's happening in my life.

So, over the weekend I had to go see Wreck-It Ralph.  I mean, being the nerd I am, there's no way I wouldn't.  I was kinda on the fence about this one, but it actually surprised me how much I was laughing at certain moments.  In brief, it's not only a good movie, but I think it's already become a classic for me.  So go watch it. 

In other news, the roomie will be gone this whole week for training classes.  What's funny is that we have known each other for most of our lives, but we hardly ever talk until one of us is gone for even the slightest amount of time, then we start gabbing like old women who haven't seen each other in years.

am I racist?

Ever since I was in high school, I've been of the opinion that a handshake was always good enough.  When people met me, they'd be trying to give me some kind of fist-bump, or whatever the hell else, but I would stop it dead in it's tracks and let it just remain either a five or a handshake.  It was a load of fun, because I was always surprised at how upset people would get by doing that. 

Granted, over the years, I've become less of a stick in the mud, and I'm actually willing to give people their stupid little hand gestures, which I guess makes me a hippocrite, or something.  However, whenever someone goes for it, I always have a slight pause in doing so, because I still hate it.  All I can think of when I have that happen is, "Dude, you're not cool, you're not black, and you're not 'street'.  You're just some random whitebread cracker from the suburbs, so just man up and give me a real handshake, or f-off." 

I'm thinking of going straight back to my old ways of just cutting people short on whatever gesture they try to make and only giving handshakes or fives from now on....again.  So there, I'm bringing the classic handshake back people!

Tough one to find

So Sunday came and went without me posting some music, so here ye be.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Is it over yet?

Today just sucks.  Not only is work being a pain in the butt, with all sorts of problems just coming out of the woodwork, but I got some terrible news last night.  I just found out a friend of mine is in the hospital after a seizure resulted in them getting a concussion, only to learn that their blood sugar is out of whack once they get to the hospital.  I'm gonna be taking a trip down to visit after work, but I just hate the feeling of knowing there ain't much more I can do. 

So that's my day so far.  There ain't much out there I can think of that will cheer me up.  Oh wait a minute, I think this might do the trick:

Yeah, I don't think there is a single picture full of more awesome than this.  Scratch that; I found one just a bit more awesome.

There we go.  Now my day has been made just a little bit better because of 'em.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Nacho House of Doom

Not unlike Tatooine, it's small, poor, out of the way, but dang if they don't make everything out of unicorn meat!  This tiny little place has quickly become a regular haunt for the systems staff.  You probably can't make out the details of the menu too well from this pic, but trust me, it's enchanting.  So much so that we must have come here at least five times this month.

We came here so often when they first opened up, that I think we single handedly kept them afloat.   Heck, I think the roomie is already betrothed to one of their daughters because they had no other way of saying thank you.