Sunday, November 9, 2014

Six reasons why I dislike Doctor Who

If you like any episode of Doctor who in recent years, I have some bad news.  You're not a fan of science fiction, you're not a nerd, nor are you watching an intelligent show.  Don't take this as a slight to you, it's perfectly fine to like stuff that sucks.  I mean, I love the David Lynch version of Dune, but I'm not going to pretend it's excellent movie.  The only differences between liking Dune or Doctor Who, is that the crappy show I like simply means that I am nerd and that I'm a science fiction junkie, or in other words I'm only human and that's my flaw.  Liking Dr Who on the other hand, simply means you are a single woman between that ages of 13-40 and you like mainstream romantic tension and don't like too much science in your science fiction.  Once again, that simply means you're human.

I find it a bit sad, really.  I really like the concept behind Doctor Who, and I even think it's nothing short of brilliant.  Here's a show about a humanoid alien who is a quote "time lord" that has a ship that can transport people across all of time and space.  Just the concept of the show alone allows for limitless possibilities, no?

Well since it's inception, the good doctor's show has been hampered by problems, and as a result has always been a hit or miss affair.  And I do confess, that there was some darn good Doctor Who the beginning.  Some of the most memorable episodes were ones with no villain, incorporated actual science theory, all while having companions that were not love interests.  Most of the failings of early/pre-reboot Dr Who has been mostly a technical nature, ie. poor acting, lazy directing, and atrocious budgets, which result in laughable effects, sets and props.  However, the show still managed to find a lot of steam despite these issues.  But even then I would only recommend cherry-picking the best episodes if you really want to watch.

The current run of Doctor who on the other hand, suffers from what I like to call the Battlestar Galactia syndrome.  It's described by those who like it as a sci-fi show, but in reality, it's nothing of the sort.  It is much closer to being an odd combination of romance serial and fantasy show or some kind of magic soap opera, and thus is the reason for it's popularity.

Like the viewer and their self respect. Just screw it. 
The primary focus is no longer to illustrate or to use actual science concepts of any kind, or to explain/save the universe.  The show has gone from explaining why aliens are the way they are and how their evolutionary path is different, delving into the vast intricacies of the universe, all while giving us an uplifting moral to the story, to just not explaining anything at all, because it thinks the audience too stupid to understand, then try to make some kind of social/political commentary that makes an equal amount of sense, then feed us a bunch of nonsensical romance plots.

Allow me to make a list of all the reasons why this show is terrible:

1) Every other companion is a damn love interest.  Back in the day, the doctor rarely had a love interest. Now, it can't go five minutes of screen time without reminding us that some kind of damn love triangle, or repressed teenage angst is abounding in that little blue police box.  Remember when the doctor could have compelling relationships with companions and not just a revolving door full of forgettable possible girlfriends?  When his companions were vastly different from one another and they actually offered more than the occasional lip biting glace from across the main console?  It seems as though every episode's underlying theme is some kind love story or a relationship problem and it seeps through thicker than those old dove chocolate commercials.
yeah, cause this guy just screams hero and manly.
2) Every other episode is a worthless, senseless monster of the week.  Early Dr Who made a point out not having a monster of the week, because it was an actual sci-fi show.  This new show not only seems to need some kind of monster to move things along, it makes no attempt to explain the reasoning, purpose or point to even having them there in the first place.

Example: some friends who are fans of the show wanted to me to get into it by showing me the infamous weeping angels episode.  What a bunch of bullcrap.  You have these baddies that offer great jump scares, but not a single second of the episode was dedicated to why they were there, who they are (other than being bad and scary), where they come from, or why they are the way they are.  Now, granted that was their introductory episode, but from what I gather, they are prominently featured in at least a half a dozen episodes and they have yet to gain any kind of depth as a race, a reason for them being (reoccurring) antagonists, what their effing deal is, or what the point of having them around is in the first place.   What a waste of potential.

3) Instead of having the focus being on science and the wonders and dangers of the universe, it's all about the doctor himself and how he is the ultimate dreamy pansy every woman wants to be with.

He even takes a pregnancy test everywhere he goes.  So responsible. 
For example, I watched the Christmas special in which he visits a planet with some connection to his home world, and in doing so lives the rest of his last life there to continue an endless stalemate, which in doing so prevents an all out war that could destroy his people.  So it starts off more than a bit compelling.

But instead of having him be this war regulating time lord who's fighting a battle he's destined to lose, it delves into a pointless, nonsensical, and endlessly contrived story about there being a magical town there called Christmas (seriously) that is entirely populated by nothing but orphaned children, puppies, and everything fluffy and nice, and how the ol doc is suddenly a massive softy for these people who have no point to even existing other than to make every woman watching the show think he is the ultimate softy.  I'm sure that the cast of every iteration of "A Christmas Carol" also made an appearance here.

Then to top it all off, the big stakes of the episode are that a robot he's only been hanging with for this one episode dies, (can someone say redshirt?) then the very thing that makes the episode so tense is never given any payoff and the good 'ol doc is magically given more lives to keep going on.  Go screw yourselves writers.  Another opportunity to reinvent the whole show just shoved down the crapper.

4)  The show seems to take active part in making a mockery of actual science, and of the fans themselves.  One thing I hear quoted by fans of the newer Dr Who is, "wibbley wobbley timey wimey bits"  which was actually used by the Doctor to explain away major time paradoxes (plot holes).

I'm sorry Doc, I thought you were an immensely intelligent alien who is also a powerful time lord, not one of the pot riddled college drop outs I see on a constant basis.  If you can't simply explain something you've done on a regular basis for thousands of years to even a moderately intelligent species and instead patronize them with that bullcrap line, perhaps you need to quit your job and just pop ecstasy all day long while clubbing cause I can get that caliber of explanation from any drunk douchebag.  Seriously, I cannot imagine a more lackluster way of trying to brush something past the audience (not for lack of trying, cause Star Trek: Voyager was often determined to give it's audience the big middle finger).

5) Because it follows all the same rules as every other mystical fantasy and romance movie, it's painfully predictable, while being forcefully, painfully, and unnecessarily dramatic.  Now, there are plenty of movies and shows that are very predictable, but still manage to be enjoyable.  Dr who is not one of them.

All the new Dr Who follows the same exact formula: First, make the doctor a young hip attractive looking guy rather than being the aged soul he is.  Your next ingredient is a pretty girl to be his companion that is supposedly independent, strong willed, and arrogant, but is secretly just wishing to be the object of a man's affection.  Then, have the Doctor tell her to trust him, have him save her life, so the girl fall madly in love with him.  Now sprinkle unnecessary and pointless feats of saving some disabled special needs diseased minority orphan children to give an extra boost to the already burdensome lonely woman masturbatory fuel.  Then, add water and a little brooding to the Doc, and let the sexual tension simmer for the duration of the season.  All other aspects of the show not related to romantic tension or making the doctor seem nicer than Jesus, such as story arcs, plot twists, and especially potential science is to be completely disregarded and/or treated like magic without any explanation, reasoning or purpose.  Set oven to 350 F and bake for a hour for a fresh warm turd.  Done?  Well congrats!  You just made a new Dr. Who episode!

So to remind you once again, I don't look down on anyone for liking the last decade of Dr. Who.  It's obviously a formula that's worked well for it.  They're still making new episodes, and the popularity of the show has never been higher among the (obviously targeted) demographic of single 15-40 year old single women.

There's plenty of crap I watch that makes an equal amount of sense, even stuff obviously targeted to my demographic, but for the love of everything holy, don't try to tell me Doctor Who is a great or even a good show, it just science fiction's version of what twilight was for vampires.  No amount of pointless scary scenes/episodes, or moments of him feigning being a dick for a while is going to get me to be a fan of it, so just stop.

Also, I knowingly abbreviated the show's title to Dr. Who because I know it pisses off all them hardcore whovian fans, and the same goes for only listing five reasons.  The show has so little substance that you really can't come up for more reasons to hate it because that's all there is to it.  Besides, if I'm coming back to blogging, what's the point unless I post a needlessly long rant?

1 comment:

  1. Personally, I enjoyed 1960s-70s Dr. Who for the sheer unapologetic goofy low-budget pulp-adventure campiness of it all. But then, when Tom Baker, Jon Pertwee, and Patrick Troughton played the character, it was just that–silly adventure-serial style cliffhanger stories about narrow escapes from the scenery-chewing Master, or the Daleks, who somehow manage to chew the scenery despite not having faces or more than a single (shrill, enraged) tone of voice.

    Dr. Who in post-2005 version, so-called nuWho, is an obnoxious, unsympathetic, tiresomely politically correct fellow whom one wishes would get eaten by the Silurians. My admittedly limited viewing of the 21st Century version leaves me unenthusiastic and uninterested in seeking out any more.

    To each his own, of course.