good zoo music

More music to calm the nerves.



Oh yeah, and happy Easter everybody!

more bathroom humor

Brace yourselves, people.  This is how terrible my thought process is.  One day, not too long ago, I was in a stall in the men's room making use of the facilities, when I hear another gentleman enter the restroom, and proceed to use the urinal next to my stall.  As I'm conducting my business, I was inclined to believe that the other gentleman doesn't know that there was another patron within, as he was making some very unflattering noses while having some difficulty in relieving himself.  I bear through the awkward tension, as it continues for a few minutes.  Suddenly, I had possibly the funniest bad idea I ever had.

I was fighting with every bit of mental strength I had to resist the insatiable urge to muster up my most official, PSA-sounding voice, and just start blurting, "You know, a weak or inconsistent stream may be a sign of larger issues relating to your prostate.  Regular checkups with a qualified physician may help reduce difficulties and prevent more serious issues, such as prostate cancer."

I was so amused by this thought I had to double check I wasn't laughing out loud.

you know...

I just can't seem to come up with anything relevant to say today.  Perhaps because not much is really going on.  I mean I could tell everyone about the intricacies of my job, but I doubt that would be entertaining to a whole lot of people, so how about I direct you to a great post from good 'ol Larry's blog that I read a couple days ago.

This chronic lack of ideas seems to be happening to me more an more often.  I really do enjoy doing as little outside of home as possible, because it gives me more time to relax and read, but it certainly kills a lot of opportunities for good blog fodder.  Maybe it's time I saved up some money and took a road trip somewhere.   Hmmmm.... I do remember passing this place while driving along I-80 a while back, perhaps it's time I made a return trip.

Oh, how I have fallen...

into the most stereotypical realms of nerd-dom.  I may have mentioned the little desk space arms race my co workers and I have going on.  I rarely care what my status is in relation to other people, but that's only because my geekyness wasn't in question.  Between my roomie's Little Damn Heroes Replica, and J's stupid sprawling fleet of mini Trek ships (he has them all, and then some), I had to make a move.  I needed something of Nerf Nuke proportions.  That's when I noticed this little guy on Amazon the other day; and needless to say, it's already on the way to my doorstep (to the detriment of my wallet).

I will cry about how much I spent on it until it gets here.  When it finally does, I'll probably be nerdgasming because I have the starship and the Jericho go with it.

Bringing you quality random

I love introducing new addictive substances to people.  Just last night, I got to introduce another nice group of people to the joy that is The Pie.  It was a bit of new experience for me as well, since I have never tried their "half-baked cookies and cream", which I now know to be the next best thing to being pampered by a beautiful woman.  If you haven't sampled it, you'll have to change that asap.

Also, I had a fun conversation with my good friend J yesterday, that highlights even more reasons why I'm single.
J:  "So my sister thinks you're a massive jerk, now."
Me: "Okay, what did I do?"
J:  "Well, I just found out she's been trying to text you for like the past few days, and she thinks you're ignoring her."
Me: (a midst laughter) "Oh man, that's pretty funny."
J:  "Yeah, I couldn't bring myself to tell her that you don't have texting."

A related question; is it just me, or does every woman I know text a ridiculous amount every day?  You know it's especially bad when they've told you that they "don't really text that much", because you can expect to see them to be glued to their phone constantly.

In other news, I've been trying to get into playing a bit more Heart of the Swarm, but just when I think I'm safe to move on to another game, a new AV-8B mod comes out for Strike Fighters 2.  Looks like that's what I'll be doing all day today.

Ooooh! Shiny!

I wouldn't consider myself a huge fan of Zooey Deschanel, but I am a big fan of her music, and I just found out that She&Him are coming to Salt Lake again in June!  I'm thinking I should totally go, but it's certainly the type of venue that I'd prefer to take a date to than go alone, and I'm thinking getting one is gonna be the hard part.

I also forgot to mention that on Saturday I was able to go to the natural history museum with a few friends to check out an exhibition on recent developments in nano technology.  Really cool stuff, with applications ranging from greatly increasing battery life, to doubling processing power, implanted brain chips, smart polymers that could cure cancer, even invisibility.  After taking in the whole experience, I was quite impressed; and then wondered if this is how the Borg collective will start.

And yes, they were totally developing stuff just like this.

Rest stop

I have this good friend of mine that I have been acquainted with since high school, and for the sake of a false sense on anonymity, let's call him Ginger Jew-beard, or GJ for short (and yes, he's Jewish).  Now, we've had this unofficial tradition that just about every time we see each other, we have to go to some new restaurant or cafe that we've never been to before.

So on Saturday I went to see GJ and naturally, we went to another new cafe that he'd read about earlier and had been wanted to sample.  Once we'd arrived at the establishment and got ourselves a seat, I couldn't help but notice the composition of the clientele was predominantly a single type; which I had to bring up with him.
"Every.  Single.  Time.  How is it that you always seem to find places to eat that are chock full of nothing but lesbians?"
"I don't know, but my mom asked me the exact same question when I took her to lunch last week."
"Yeah, I'm beginning to wonder you have something shady afoot going on here."

After getting all the laughs out, I was left with a bit of frustration because I already ate earlier, and the menu was sounding quite divine   Being the fat guy that I am, it wasn't long before I totally caved in and insisted on at least trying out a pastry.  I ordered what I thought was a lemon bar, which actually turned out to be a tangerine bar.  Verdict?  Most impressive.  Go check 'em out.

Just gotta calm the nerves

with a little music.  I really wish I could have done nothing this weekend, but I for some inexplicable reason, I seem to be enticed by enough friends, that I spent that entire time running all over the valley with 'em.  So, how bout a tune that's relaxing?

Inxs - Never tear us apart

Yeah, People are constantly telling me that I live in the 80s...and the 60s, the 50s, the 40s.  Being that I look a lot older than I am, it's kinda funny to see the look they give me when I remind them that I'm a child of the 90s.

Maybe I'm just retarded

Reason I am single #207:

So, I'm constantly complaining about being single, but at the same time I'm constantly screwing over my chances at changing that.  For example, not too long ago, a very (okay, let's say extremely) beautiful woman I know was with me and she conspicuously let slip the the infamous phrase, "So, I broke up with my boyfriend."
But, for some odd reason, the best thing I could think of to say at the time was, "Sorry to hear that."
Now, not only is she beautiful, but she's intuitive enough to know that it probably wasn't a very well thought out answer on my part and decided to follow up with, "Oh no biggie, he was a jerk, so I'm over it.  But, I don't have any plans this weekend..."
At this point, some semblance of logic began to rise in my brain, and I realized what was being said.  Yet, all I could bring myself to say was, "That's nice."
So, that conversation quickly crashed and burned.

Sometime later, upon reflection, I wondered why I acted like such a moron, because I realized that it would have been a really awesome idea, and such an opportunity with her will not be coming my way again.

Yup, this one is dying alone.

I just feel brain dead

because nothing is coming to mind for a good post.  I suppose you can stay tuned, as something should come up eventually.  I hope.

A little update of sorts

So, because I hate skipping a day, and it's been a while since I said how I'm doing, I think I make a post about just that.

Today is one of those days where it looked like it might end up being kinda dumb, because of a bunch of tedious projects I have to get done, but then I found one of these waiting for me on my desk.  Those wonderful coworkers of mine...

Speaking of things littering my desk, I also treated myself to a couple articles of Aperture Laboratories swag from Think Geek.  I swear, between the sales these guys have, and my new Amazon Prime account, I doubt I'll ever have money again.  Never mind the fact that I only buy stuff that's on sale, there's just enough of it that I can still spend all my cash away.

Oh, and remember how I was reading the NATOPS F-14 flight manual to get better at landing?  Yeah, it's working out.

Okay, so it wasn't really a botched landing, I suffered a bit of cannon damage while on the hop, which took one of my main landing gears with it.  All in all, I am utterly amazed I managed to land the plane at all in the condition it was, without it turning into a fiery mass of death.  Still, it was pretty embarrassing to be the only one in my flight to receive any damage at all.

What the flying fudgesicle?

So I generally don't post news items just because there's plenty of other people that do it far better than I.  But in this case, I can't help but comment on the recent announcement on The Firearm Blog about Steven Segal lobbying for Russian Gun makers.

Okay, I'll go ahead and assume that since the Russians don't really have the same gun culture that we do here in America, perhaps they are just woefully ignorant of the the rep that he has attained here.  Unless you are in the UFC, Mr. Segal is the absolute LAST person you would want representing anything for you.  He's a prime example of someone you don't want on your side, as he constantly bludgeons everyone over the head with his ignorance every time he tries to help.

Just try and tell me you can't picture Steve over there going to a range with the lowest of all drop leg holsters, all while wearing some feeble second hand body armor.

Then again, maybe I have it all wrong.  This is the same country that insists it's special forces be able to perform a mid-air backflip upside-down hatchet attack, so maybe they really do want the King of all Mall Ninjas as their PR.  I wonder he'll be using a special golf cart with modified shrike missiles.

Join the elite cadre of Mall Ninjas!

The Blizzard Experience

Ugh.  I like playing games with my friends, but in this case I'm doing it a bit begrudgingly.  Not because of my friends, mind you (I aint that evil), but because of the game.  More specifically, the game's issues.  I like Starcraft, always have, but for heavens sake, I have never had to deal with so much bull crap from a publisher before.  There have been bad ones in the past, but Blizzard takes the crap-covered cake.  I have to deal with this nonsense of their downloaded going slower than molasses, and being completely unable to play the game unless I do an "illegal work around" to fix it.  May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their pubes.

I'm sure once I get to actually playing the game, I'll be having a good time, but getting there will possibly be the death of me.

Better than blah

I may have posted her before, but I can't help it.  Good stuff.

Taylor Davis

unnecessary research

A while back I actually went through the trouble of downloading a pdf of the NATOPS F-14D flight manual just because I thought it was kinda cool.

Good kill on a Foxhound in a right hand turn.

As it turns out, I've actually ended up reading a good portion of it now.  I started to read it just so I can get better at landing the F-14B in Strike fighters 2; now, I'm pouring over every page so I can be as knowledgeable as possible on the flight envelope of the plane.  Heck, even reading about aircraft taxiing procedures are starting to become invaluable.  Of particular interest to me would be finding out more about ECM procedures, because I have been shot down way too many times by those dang R-77s.

The hated enemy: Vympel R-77

In other news, I forgot to mention last week that my friend had one of those horrible moments in which a capacitor on his big-screen popped, totaling the TV.  I asked what happened, and he said he heard the popping noise that ended it's effective service life, right when an episode of spongebob came on.  I told him, "Huh.  Must have been one of the later episodes."

Cheap, vapid post

Saw this on 9gag, and I nearly coated my monitor with my drink.

needs and wants

Everyone in the office has been going crazy recently over the latest fad from last year.  All day, everyone's been debating among themselves about those SOG "tacti-cool" tomahawks and what bloody model they all want to get.

Personally, I find it kind of silly.

As for me, I dunno what it is, but for some time now I've been consumed with the desire to find a really nice, sturdy, and (above all else) usable butterfly knife.  Yeah, it's about as useful as that stupid tomahawk, but I just want one, okay?

Of course, you can just get those cheap Phillipino or Chinese specials you find at the gun show, but I'm looking for one that can actually function as an actual, well, knife.

Like this Benchmade model.  Nice, but still nearly $200!

After doing a good amount of searching, it's slowly becoming more and more apparent that I'm not gonna find one that's worth it's salt for under $170.  I'm beginning to think that the world has failed me; any other type of knife, and you can find some pretty serious quality for $50-$100, but it's now the 21st century and nobody is making a halfway good balisong for less than what it costs to buy a gun?  I smell an opportunity.

Contact, foot mobiles, 300 meters!

Earlier, I was coming up a bit short for topics to post about, but then I remembered my crazy adventure in the ARMA 3 alpha last night.  

The game is visually impressive, with a fantastically detailed world, but it's still very obviously an alpha, in that there are numerous bugs with the AI and some visual glitches.  The roomie and I decided to give the coop missions a try, and boy did we suck.  It's been far too long since I've played a game with any hint of realism or tactics, so we were making all sorts of progress at dying in more and more embarrassing ways.  

Sometimes this was our fault, but there were some genuinely odd and frustrating problems with the game that also caused our demise, including some rather poorly thought out mission design.  In the few moments where everything was working properly, there was some seriously enjoyable moments: stealing armored cars, clearing buildings, and sniping are all incredibly satisfying.  

Okay, so we didn't see anything this bad, but still.

In short, the learning curve was only slightly improved over the last game, and there are some technical and design issues, but I'll more than likely be playing this one more in the future.

In the meantime, I'll really be looking forward to more info on another game that's in development: Takedown by Serellan.

I got the island fever

Oh man. Wow.  If it wasn't for that crappy government and stupid judicial system of theirs, I swear I'd have moved to Great Britain years ago.  We recently had a couple reps from our London office stop by for a meeting, and just hearing that accent was intoxicating.  Of course it doesn't hurt that one of them is also a very attractive woman on top of having a heart melting accent.  So when we are asked to send someone to help them with a technical issue, it of course practically turns into a fist fight between everyone to see who can go.

Don't think I'd mind having a "relationship manager"

I was also tempted to mention something about the passing of the latest crazy cook that will not be missed, but as per usual, Tam puts it far better than I can.

Forgot to mention another conversation I had with a friend recently about some moral and ethical quandaries, and he posed the question to me, "If you had the opportunity to save a large amount of people by killing someone who had not directly committed any crimes, would you?"
"Sure. Just not for free."
I don't think my answer is what he expected.

Let's see, what else can I say...um...well I did finally see Django Unchained last week.  Like Five times.  All within a week.  So I obviously liked it.

another weekend

another video for your enjoyment.  I could have sworn I already posted this one before, but I couldn't find it and I need a tune that's just rockin.

personal ad libbing

I was with a couple of friends and we were joking around about social media and whatnots, and of my friends was trying to tell me about some journalist (Teslyn Barkman) he read recently.  Before showing me a picture of her he wondered aloud, if her name was Jewish.

To which I half jokingly reply, "A Jewish redhead in the Falklands?!?!  Holy crap!  How can I marry this woman stat?!"

When the other friend replies, Wow.  "We need to make a personal ad for you on a dating site that's exactly that, seeking Jewish redhead on the Falklands..."

I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while. 

do or do not, there is no try

When quoting that to someone yesterday, they said they disagreed it, because it isn't factually accurate.  I asked how so, and they responded by saying, "Well, it doesn't make sense, because you can try to move a boulder all you want, but it most likely won't move, but you still tried."
then I responded with, "Okay, that just means you didn't move it.  The end result is always whether something happened or not, so simply trying doesn't matter."

On a completely random note, I'm trying hard to see if I can utilize the terms "fop" and "dandy" more often in my day to day speech.  I think it would be particularly fun to use it to describe someone who annoys me while said person is in my presence. 

sleazy magazines

Finally got those dang 9mm CZ-75 mags in the mail!  Well, after learning the hard way that they are coated in a grease that really stings the eyes, I decided to make quick comparison between them and the stock IMI (Tanfoglio) mags.  The IMI mag is on the left with the red follower, and the CZ mag will always be on the right.

Immediately noticeable is that the IMI mag is slightly taller than the CZ, which also has some curious holes cut into the front of the mag

As you can see, the Jericho (Tanfoglio) mags have a symmetrical notches on either side for the mag release, whereas the notches for the mag release on the CZ mag are not.  Perhaps not as noticeable, is that they are of a different shape, size, and have a slightly different placement (ie. lower) as those on the Jericho's.

The Jericho mags also have a notch just before the feed lips, when the CZ mags don't, and I'm wondering if these will have an effect on the actuation of the slide release after the last shot fires.

After looking at their physical differences, I went on toy with them a bit to see how they do in the Jericho.  I noticed that the CZ mags are not as easy to seat in the magwell as the Jericho mags, requiring a good slap or two in order to make sure it locks into place.  When loaded, they also have a much tighter fit as evidenced by the following comparison.  First, the IMI mag:

note the amount of space between the baseplate fo the IMI factory mag and the magwell

Now the CZ:

Jeez, that's a tight fit!

I continued to experiment by loading a few snap caps into the CZ mag and cycling the action.  All signs point to a flawless operation, but I'll wait until I go to the range for a final verdict.  Also, the Jericho has a notoriously east to actuate slide stop, so I can't reliably verify how it will perform with just the snap caps.

Now, since I can't seem to find a box of ammo at non-wallet-raping prices, I'll have to wait till I can afford a few boxes of real ammo to see how they preform at the range.

I needed that

Spent the weekend doing as little as possible, and well, it was sorely needed.  Running around like crazy all over the valley, although always entertaining, gets tiring very quickly.  Just had to sit down and enjoy a good amount of time just playing Planetside 2 with the brother, which was a good amount of fun.

Speaking of video gaming whatnot, I'm really excited to hear that after much silence, that Insurgency 2 will be opening up for Beta pretty soon, and that pre-ordering the game (for only 20 bucks!) gets you early access to said beta.  I may just do that.

Also, today is the day I stop being the FNG around IT.  Not sure how I feel about it, as he's technically going to outrank me, and be younger than me, but I'm hoping for the best, so we'll see how things go.

'nother earworm

Dunno why, but I had this one stuck in my head all day.

and another one comes

Heralding the new month over here is that we have a new guy starting in IT on Monday.  It's been pretty exhausting for everyone that's been doing the interviews to even find someone who knows what they are talking about.  But alas, we finally find someone who seems qualified  and now is the ultimate test to see if he throws off our collective groove.  All I have to say, is the guy better enjoy guns, cause that makes up a good portion of office conversation for us.

Speaking of which, I spent a few bucks on a couple new CZ-75 magazines to use with the Jerichos, and I'm eager to see if I'll be needing to make any modifications to them to get them to work properly.  There's endless forums on the subject with many people giving differing reports and opinions on the matter, but the way this market is, I thought getting two new mags for any gun would be a worthwhile investment regardless if they work with mine or not.  The only problem being that they're restricting customers to being able to buy only two, which is kinda lame.

Though I wonder if I should be a bit more frugal with my purchases, because I'm still itching for a good rifle, which is something I haven't owned in a good long while, and that's just inexcusable.