Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The braindead Brady bunch

So, when I started this blog, it wasn't my intention to make light of current events.  However, the MSM and political reactions to the recent shooting in Arizona, seems to give lefties an unlimited pass to blame it on just about anything.  They are throwing out every slime-ball tactic in the greasy, filth-ridden left field, ranging from blaming Sarah Palin, to blaming it on lack of gun control (despite the fact that most Americans disagree).  Now, the one that gets me the most, is the gun control one.  We've been through this before, and every time (well, most of the time), we the people have seen reason, and refused.  Mission accomplished.

But what about the gun banners?  Well, in their failures, I seem to have developed some pity for the losing team, and have devised a way to help them illustrate their point.  I'm going to market a video game that shows the world that being prevented from exercising basic human rights, not only makes everything safer, but more fun!  Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, Medal of Citation: Gun Control; Neutered Ops!

It will be a standard First Person Shooter game in which, much like other FPS' it will require you to navigate dozens of levels riddled with terrorists, crazies, rapists, pirates, crackheads, muggers, invading armies, zombies, and whatnot, all trying to kill, rob, eat, and/or rape you.  The twist is that this game will also force you to adhere to varying levels of gun control depending on your difficulty.  This will be enforced by an in-game representation of actual gun-control supporters! It will have four modes of difficulty:

United States difficulty(easy):  Despite being able to get firearms relatively easily, depending on where you are in the game, you may have to wait for 3 levels to pick up and use the gun you saw earlier that you liked.  You are only allowed to use semi-automatics (because all that paperwork is a hassle), despite the fact that the enemies are all armed to the teeth with illegally-obtained full-auto's.  Also, you may not be able to be given a gun at all if you've had to defend yourself with one in previous levels.  Also, you cannot go to selected other levels with your guns without committing a felony.  Also, famous bystanders that you save from a grim fate, will hate you for being so violent and insensitive to the poor upbringings of the perpetrators.

Australia difficulty (medium):  Same game, but now, before you start every single level, you have to prove to a government official that you have a reason to need one (note: personal protection doesn't count as a reason), then if you qualify, you are only allowed to have a bolt-action, single shot rifle.

The place where Great Britain used to be difficulty (hard):  It's practially unknown how to even go about getting a gun here.  Most people wonder if they can even use a metal knife in after a given point, so most will stick to using plastic cutlery as weaponry.  If you do manage to legally get a gun here, you may have to move to Switzerland in order to legally use it.

Mexican difficulty (insane):  Be prepared to get raped by drug cartels, stupid.  Not just once, either.  Multiple times.

Coming soon! Canadian difficulty DLC pack!  Soon, you can enjoy the most garbled, confusing, and contradictory gameplay known to man! Pre-order Now!

Huh. Well.... I guess that backfired.  Maybe this will make the invention exchange though.  Just goes to show, there's no saving the gun control movement, but they just can't seem to face reality and admit it yet.

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