Monday, January 10, 2011

Invention I am proud of #46

Ah, Monday.  We meet again.  And I say to you, "may your blade chip and shatter!"  I just hate my job at the airport so much, that even the people I like there, I still hate 'em.  They say 'hate' is a very strong word, so it seems quite appropriate in this situation.  Anyways, enough talk about that, let's move on to something cheerful!  It's time for the invention exchange!

Some time ago, I was feeling kinda sick and ended up waking up in the middle of the night choking on a ball of mucus.  It was pretty nasty.  So nasty that it woke up just about everyone in the house.  So, after I cough up this hairball, I come to an amazing thought.  What if there was a way to 'emergency apply' some Vicks Vapo-rub to a friend or relative?  Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the Vicks Vapo-rub 12 Gauge round!
Now when you hear a loved one having a hard time sleeping due to an illness, you can simply lock and load, point down the hallway and scream, "BREATHE EASY!"  Let off a couple rounds, and go back to sleep with the comfort of knowing that the impact of 1100 fps packs of vapo-rub gel has knocked your friend back into bed, and they will now be sleeping peacefully!  No more spending time out of bed taking possibly dozens of minutes trying to sift through your medicine cabinet, and taking even more time to apply!  Simply point, click, and go back to whatever you were doing.  Now you can actually use that shotgun you've had lying around the house, and finally get to fire some shots in anger!  Anger at the congested sinuses, that is!  Find them at your local drug or sporting goods store.  Available now, in 12 gauge, 20 gauge, and .410.*

*Warning: .410 loads must be fired from a standard length shotgun to be effective. So to be clear, the only verdict "the Judge" will give, is 0 relief.  Furthermore, due to reduced dosages in smaller bores, repeated application of the .410 may be necessary.

Buy it today!

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