Please fasten your safety belts, keep your tray in an upright position, and tuck your head between your knees, because the heater vents are in open position!
Okay. Gotta make something perfectly clear here. I have made a point out of not dating anyone for years. Not only have I not met any women that interested me enough, but most girls in general get on my nerves after a very short amount of time. So imagine my surprise when things get all f-ed up the first time I thought I met a girl that was worth it.
Here's the story so far. I have been interested in a certain girl for some time now. Through no conscious will of my own, I really fell hard for this girl the day I met her (a very rare event for me indeed). We had flirted around with each other quite a bit, we talked to each other a lot, I was around her a lot, and I really enjoyed her company. It had gotten to the the point that I genuinely wanted to improve myself as a human being just by knowing her.
However, I noticed after a short while, that despite the fact that we were always around each other, whenever I tried to invite her to anything exclusive (or even with other friends), she would decline; and whenever she invited me to anything, it mysteriously got canceled. Whatever.
So, of course, I found out after a short time, that she certainly did not feel the same way about me. Ok, crap happens. I try to just be a simple friend. But still, lots of my friends would wonder why the hell some cute girl was calling me to have long conversations at 0-dark thirty in the morning every other day, if she wasn't interested in me at all.
I'll admit I was having a hard time getting over her, but I was carrying on pretty well, when I get a call from her. She complains that I hadn't called her in over a week, she missed hearing from me, and that I should do so more often. More than a little puzzled afterward, I said to myself, "That's ok. It may hurt a little bit to do so, but I can still just be her friend, right? Why be mean and ignore this friendship we have? I just want to see her be happy." Boy, was I naive.
So today, I get a random call from her, in which she vents to me about her day, and mentions some of the events that have transpired over the course of it. She mentions an outdoor social activity that she went to, and I make a light hearted sarcastic comment about not being invited. BANG! That sets it off. She proceeds to tell me that she doesn't want to be seen with me because I'm such an ass, I'm not "a real man", and that I would be an embarrassment because I am "so Mormon" and that I'm hateful and rude. She said she would rather keep me separate from her family and the rest of her friends. Wow. Just what the hell is all that supposed to mean?
This was by far the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life. I have never been told that I was an embarrassment when I had tried so hard to do the opposite. I was so shocked by it, that my brain didn't even fully register what had happened until about five minutes after I hung up the phone (and I'm known for being notoriously quick with the whit when I'm insulted).
So, I sit there in sheer amazement. I have to say that, yes I can be an extremely sarcastic and cynical person, but I seriously did nothing to deserve this kind of shabby treatment. I bent over backwards to ensure that I would always listen to what she had to say, even if I disagreed completely about the subject. Whenever I did make offense, I immediately tried to sincerely find out how to make amends. But I guess giving 110% towards trying to improve yourself and become a good friend aint enough.
So with all of my heart, I say to you sweetheart, go screw yourself, go have intercourse with your ugly mother, and may your life reap the rewards of your lack of kindness to those that care for you (and yes, I speak for your family there, too). If I were any less of "a man" I would shove your face into a bucket of blood soaked rusty nails that have been sprinkled in urine, so that you can feel the pain that you have delivered. Shame on me for thinking you are anything noteworthy or even of passing interest.
Then again, she believes she shouldn't be pandered to just because she's a woman; so maybe next time we meet, I'll see if she can take a good right hook to the jaw "like a man." And last but not least, here's a link to a farewell song for you (warning NSFW language ahead). Play it again, Cee Lo Green!
Okay. Gotta make something perfectly clear here. I have made a point out of not dating anyone for years. Not only have I not met any women that interested me enough, but most girls in general get on my nerves after a very short amount of time. So imagine my surprise when things get all f-ed up the first time I thought I met a girl that was worth it.
Here's the story so far. I have been interested in a certain girl for some time now. Through no conscious will of my own, I really fell hard for this girl the day I met her (a very rare event for me indeed). We had flirted around with each other quite a bit, we talked to each other a lot, I was around her a lot, and I really enjoyed her company. It had gotten to the the point that I genuinely wanted to improve myself as a human being just by knowing her.
However, I noticed after a short while, that despite the fact that we were always around each other, whenever I tried to invite her to anything exclusive (or even with other friends), she would decline; and whenever she invited me to anything, it mysteriously got canceled. Whatever.
So, of course, I found out after a short time, that she certainly did not feel the same way about me. Ok, crap happens. I try to just be a simple friend. But still, lots of my friends would wonder why the hell some cute girl was calling me to have long conversations at 0-dark thirty in the morning every other day, if she wasn't interested in me at all.
I'll admit I was having a hard time getting over her, but I was carrying on pretty well, when I get a call from her. She complains that I hadn't called her in over a week, she missed hearing from me, and that I should do so more often. More than a little puzzled afterward, I said to myself, "That's ok. It may hurt a little bit to do so, but I can still just be her friend, right? Why be mean and ignore this friendship we have? I just want to see her be happy." Boy, was I naive.
So today, I get a random call from her, in which she vents to me about her day, and mentions some of the events that have transpired over the course of it. She mentions an outdoor social activity that she went to, and I make a light hearted sarcastic comment about not being invited. BANG! That sets it off. She proceeds to tell me that she doesn't want to be seen with me because I'm such an ass, I'm not "a real man", and that I would be an embarrassment because I am "so Mormon" and that I'm hateful and rude. She said she would rather keep me separate from her family and the rest of her friends. Wow. Just what the hell is all that supposed to mean?
This was by far the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life. I have never been told that I was an embarrassment when I had tried so hard to do the opposite. I was so shocked by it, that my brain didn't even fully register what had happened until about five minutes after I hung up the phone (and I'm known for being notoriously quick with the whit when I'm insulted).
So, I sit there in sheer amazement. I have to say that, yes I can be an extremely sarcastic and cynical person, but I seriously did nothing to deserve this kind of shabby treatment. I bent over backwards to ensure that I would always listen to what she had to say, even if I disagreed completely about the subject. Whenever I did make offense, I immediately tried to sincerely find out how to make amends. But I guess giving 110% towards trying to improve yourself and become a good friend aint enough.
So with all of my heart, I say to you sweetheart, go screw yourself, go have intercourse with your ugly mother, and may your life reap the rewards of your lack of kindness to those that care for you (and yes, I speak for your family there, too). If I were any less of "a man" I would shove your face into a bucket of blood soaked rusty nails that have been sprinkled in urine, so that you can feel the pain that you have delivered. Shame on me for thinking you are anything noteworthy or even of passing interest.
Then again, she believes she shouldn't be pandered to just because she's a woman; so maybe next time we meet, I'll see if she can take a good right hook to the jaw "like a man." And last but not least, here's a link to a farewell song for you (warning NSFW language ahead). Play it again, Cee Lo Green!
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