Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sad panda is sad

I miss the good 'ol days, when on any given night of the week, I would be getting a call from any one of my friends and they would be wanting to go do something fun.  I, being the unsocial toad I was, never wanted to.  Fast forward to today, and I'm trying to call just about everyone I know to do something, but to no avail.  It's like pulling teeth.  Whatever.

I wouldn't be so annoyed if I had a decent computer to play some cool new games on, but I don't got that.  Or, if I had enough money to my name, I'd just be plinking or sighting something in at the range every evening, but I sure as heck don't got that either.  Alas, fate is not without a deep sense of irony.
Image blatantly stolen from Rob Allen

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Back in the saddle

So, I was describing an open position for employment to a friend of mine, when she asked me to describe some of the requirements, one of which was "to be able to sit for prolonged periods of time."  To which I commented, "well, you're certainly wonderfully equipped for that requirement."
No laughs were found after that one.

Monday, August 29, 2011

They see me trollin'

I can't help it.  I just love perpetuating pointless arguments.  It's way too fun.  Especially when the topic is as pointless as facebook.  While arguing with this person, another friend of mine was listening in and giving his opinion on the subject, then was asked to pick sides, but he immediately stated that he was "the Switzerland in the conversation".  To which, I immediately respond, "well if your the Swiss here, gimme Oerlikon please!"

He laughed so hard, he nearly fell off his chair, but nobody else got the joke.  I swear only those who are historically, economically, or politically savvy get my best jokes (to those that don't get it, the Swiss weren't entirely neutral, during WWII, but actually sold armaments to both sides during the war).  But enough about my workday.
Just one sampling of their many fine products.
I actually heard some pretty sad news today, though.  On Saturday, at the new range we like to frequent, there was an accident in which someone was shot in the head with a .45 caliber sidearm.  Now, from what I was told, it was a genuine accident, no horseplay involved, or dropped gun catching, just a weird incident involving an unsecured chair.  The poor boy that was shot, had to life flighted to the hospital directly from the range.  However, by luck or divine predestination, there was a doctor at the range that was able to begin treating him as soon as it happened.  So far, the news is that they boy is alive; hopefully to recover.  My prayers go out to all those affected.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Guns. My only friend.

Due to the variety of recent events, I really have nothing to say for the day.  The only thing that I can really think of to blab about, would be what I've been researching all day.

After careful consideration, I realize I would really like to build an AR15.  Not your standard direct impingement piece of junk, but a piston operated 5.45 build.  This by itself wouldn't be much of a difficult task, but what I would like to do, is have an upper receiver with a non-reciprocating side charging handle, and with that MGI lower receiver that has an interchangeable mag well.  I'd love to be able to use AK-74 mags one day, then switch to AR mags the next.  It's just too cool a concept.  The only thing that worries me is making sure that the non-reciprocating charging handle and the piston conversion components are compatible.  So, back to researching more, to see if this can happen. 

Now, the real icing on the cake, would be to see if I could get a side folding stock to work with of all that. Now that would be seriously cool.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

On walkabout

So, I finally went to the Browning firearms museum today.  The verdict?: disappointing, yet still cool.  It was really cool to see loads of priceless, one of a kind prototype guns;  but I was completely disappointed by the fact that there was hardly any information about the guns at all.  I mean, if you're gonna make any kind of museum with priceless historical items, you'd damn well better have not just it's name printed beside it, but have at least a summarized description of what it is, how it works, when it was made, and why.  To not do so is very nearly a waste of my (and everyone else's) time.

On the upside, I got to spread the joy that is attending the Hill Aerospace Museum for the first time with two kind souls.  I just love doing that.  Though I don't think everyone else liked me talking their ears off when we got to every single display.
F-101 Voodoo's are teh hawtness *drool*
Oh yeah, and I actually licked the P-38J display, so I officially own it now.  Mine.  No one else's.  So back off.

Isn't it ironic?

That right now, the people of Libya actually have more freedom to bear arms than any American currently does?  Sorry, I've been watching that newsreel of Gaddafi's compound being raided, and I can't get over the fact that some guy not "protected" by any kind of constitution, gets access to a G36.  A gun that is not much different from some guns you can get in the U.S., but that I will never be able to own, because I stupidly decide to obey worthless, pointless, and convoluted laws like an idiot.

My constant prayer is:  May God soon deliver a painful, sweet, and long lasting justice to all who pretend to "protect" us through bureaucracy and legislation.  All those whom restrict my personal freedom in any way are my enemy, regardless of what flag they salute, and may their blades chip and shatter.  Preferably in their faces, and with some kid's homemade lemonade sprinkled on the wound afterward.

Dammit, I just REALLY want one of these friggin' things!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Once more unto the breach

Never to return.  Ever.  I just want everyone to know that I hate people.  I hate them because I have given a good portion of my life to being nice, helpful, or polite, and all that happens, is that I get crapped on.  Hence why I'm not a nice guy anymore.  I met one person in particular, that shook that up for a while, but it was short lived.  Granted, I'm an awkward soul, with more than an occasional problem expressing myself, but there is just no way I can keep going on this way.  I hate to get all emo on everyone, but the lyrics to this one ought to sum up how I feel about her.

I want you to know I love you, I really do.  I loved you since the day I met you, and for a short time, I did with all of my heart.  But now I doubt I'm even a friend, because you don't trust me, and I don't trust you; probably never will.  Nor do I think I can respect you.  I wonder if you really know what love even means.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Mall Ninja Gusta!

So, I got some nice unexpected range time the other day. My roomie was dying to sight in a new optic he got for his AR, and a friend of ours was coming along to try out the roomie's new USP and sight in his own rifle while there.  We went to an actual range, and had a fairly successful time, but noticed something rather hilarious.

It was in about the last 15 minutes of being there, when we noticed a lone man approaching the lanes.  He looked like he was in his early 30's, fairly tall, with bald/bic'd head, wearing a t-shirt and jeans.  These details are fairly common of a lot of people who frequent the range, but what set this winner apart, was the fact that he was sporting a massive kevlar vest (NOT an LBE) over his t-shirt, along with the most pretentious drop leg holster I have ever seen.  Seriously, this guy was wearing his holster lower than the average gangsta wears his pants.  The crowning achievement, is of course his massive Oakleys, to complete the ensemble.

When I first saw him, I was expecting others looking like him to show up, and I would assume it was a bunch of cops practicing some formations on the next range over, which is a common occurrence, but no dice.  I couldn't help but stare, and I was desperately fighting the urge to laugh out loud soooo hard.  I had never had the misfortune in all my life to run into any mall ninjas, but there he was.  He couldn't have looked more gay if he was walking around wearing a neon-green strap-on dildo, and no shirt.

Okay, I got nothing against owning a kevlar vest, or any other tactical gear, for that matter, provided that you use it for what it's made for.  I would totally have a vest and other gear myself for hauling around gear and protecting myself if things went all TEOTWAWKI.  However, dressing up with the most worthless holster known to man, with an old vest on top of your shirt, just to go to the range on a lazy afternoon, is not impressing anyone.  It just makes you look like some wanna-be moto prick, who is a poster child for mall ninjas and douchebags everywhere, while at the same time making everyone else who actually knows what they are doing, want to leave to go to a different range.

Monday, August 22, 2011

inside jokes

They are all I really enjoy.  Wish I could go into details of what today had in store for me, but that would be one heck of a long and boring story, with little payoff, so I won't.

Well, one thing that happened, was that I got a coworker some chocolate milk, and they decided to share a bit with me.  But instead of just getting a glass of chocolate milk, I end up getting this ridiculous, unholy concoction, which is a glass of the richest, sweetest, most chocolaty milk known to man, topped with whipped cream, that has chocolate syrup on top of that!  I responded accordingly:
Why have I never thought of doing that before?  Oh yeah, because I'm already ridiculously fat to begin with, and I don't need to think up any more crap I can eat that will kill me.. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

That time again

It's Sunday, and I aint writing anything, except posting the usual music.  I had this one stuck in my head all day on Friday.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Beautiful morning with you

See if you can guess that reference in the title of this post.  Wow, actually had crap happening on a Friday night for once.  Not a whole lot of exciting stuff (well, except for maybe one thing), but it was enough to completely neglect posting anything yesterday.

Today might be pretty interesting as well, in that I'm going to another audition for that small project I mentioned earlier.  Hopefully that all goes well.  Then, if fate smiles upon me, I'll have nothing else to do this weekend but breathe.

Oh yeah, and my favorite quote of the week is coming from Tamara.

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Coming down off the tremendous sugar high that is associated with eating a significant amount of key lime frozen yogurt, so tough luck on getting anything meaningful out of me today.  Maybe you can just google some gun porn for me instead.  How about a Smith & Wesson Model 28?  Aaaaaaannnnnd....GO!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Riding out the aftershock

For the few who might know what I'm talking about, the plan has been executed perfectly, and I now spend my time laughing maniacally, or basking in the victory all day long.  Kinda like this.

Anyways, on an almost unrelated note, I think I have found the new love of my life.  She's strong, capable, has all the right curves, and a fantastic heritage.  May I introduce to you, the Sarsilmaz K2 by EAA:
Oh yeah, she's a keeper for sure. 

Why this relatively unknown gun?  Well, let me tell you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Phone tag sucks

You're it.  That is all.

Update:  Oh, man!  I just love it when a plan comes together!  These are the moments in life when I feel like a true evil genius.  Can't wait to hatch my next dastardly plan....

Monday, August 15, 2011

Oh crap.

I'm beginning to be a bit disappointed by my own tardiness with making posts on here.  Anyways, moving on, I ended up doing it again.  The second I got money, I spent a small amount on some sodas I had never previously seen, which just happened to be on sale.  However, this time would be a first, in that all the ones I bought tasted rather disgusting.  I hate it when that happens.  I don't want to waste my money, and there isn't anyone nearby that I can just peddle it to, so I am forced to drink it.

I ended up bringing a bottle or two to work, but couldn't get any of those pansies to even try the crap (cuz, who knows, maybe one of 'em would've liked it?), so the kibosh was put on that idea right quick.  So, I'm there with a perma-scowl on my face, drinking terrible soda, looking like Zefram Cochrane in this video, while hitting on the chicks from HR, just after having a sexual harassment training meeting, as my department's coworkers wither in pain from laughing, because they are the only ones who are getting the Star Trek references; which are working out more perfectly than I ever would have expected.
Just freaking gross.
 On an unrelated note, why is it that whenever I do something nice for someone, either my motives are called into question, or my actions are immediately distrusted and treated with suspicion?  This week has been an uncharacteristically more charitable one for me, and in every instance of my kindness, this has happened (or worse).  And I don't think it's just because I'm being more charitable, because the reactions are disproportionally more frequent than usual.  I realize I am dastardly evil, but that doesn't mean I am incapable of the occasional nice gesture.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

You got tickets?

To the gun show?  Yeah, went to the gun show on Saturday.  It was being hosted by a different group than those who usually do, and it showed.  Not in a bad way, it was just obviously smaller and less busy.  Well, okay, there was one bad thing about it.  There were no cinnamon roasted cashews!  Evil!  That's okay though, I really enjoyed seeing some different vendors than usual, which led me to my first ever physical encounter with an SVT-40.  What a pretty machine (and what an understatement)!

Other than that, I don't have much else going on, so I'll just dole out the weekly music.

Friday, August 12, 2011

The week gone by, I miss it so.

Why is it that I dread weekends?  I used to enjoy them, but now I just miss being busy at work.  Possibly because as time wears on, I'm bored with people in general more and more every day.  I used to have plenty of friends and free time, but now I have little of either.  It may be sad to some that I miss the drudgery of work, but at least I feel useful and successful when I'm there.  Out in the open, not so much.

In other news, I'm really beginning to enjoy the music of Flyleaf.  Man, I am waaaayyy overdue for a trip to a shrink.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Niceness averted

Just yesterday, while staring to write up my last post, a funny thing happened.  Neither my roommate or I were expecting company, when that doorbell suddenly rang.  I go to open the door, and there stands an unassuming woman who immediately asks, "Are you Nick Schmuckballsenbaum?" (name changed to protect the blatantly not innocent)
"No" I reply.
"Well, I'm a private investigator..." as she quickly shows me her 'papers', "Could you tell me how long you've lived here?"
"The better part of a year."
"Have you gotten any mail for him?" She probes.
"Not that I know of."
"hmmm....What is your name?"  I give her my info.  "Could I see some ID to back that up?"
"Yeah"  Then, just after I finish flashing her my driver's license, my phone rings and I immediately answer it by saying, "Yo, this is Nick"

She was not amused.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Running my mouth

While at work the other day, my whole department got an email from HR stating that we all had to attend a mandatory meeting for sexual harassment training, since no one there has had it yet.  So, we all cringed at the thought and carried on until we got another email from HR.  They came to the realization that this meeting would be near unbearably excruciating, and so they offered to buy us lunch as a bribe to keep us from skipping out or sleeping through the meeting.  The email looked something like this (with portions highlighted for emphasis):
And of course, I answered with what I believed to be an appropriate response:
HR was not amused.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Got some 'splaining to do

There are those rare times when I'm sad that i don't have any TV at all.  Like a few days ago when everyone was doing an I Love Lucy marathon because of Ball's 100th B-day.  Love that show.  Anyways, cutting to the chase, I forgot to slap some music up over the weekend like I usually do, so enjoy.  And I hope I haven't already posted this song, cuz I'm too lazy to check.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Reason I am single #192

I hate the movie 'The Notebook'.  Why?  It's a perfect example of a mediocre movie; no moral to the story, toatlly unlikeable characters, and it just ends up dragging on and on.  What, you disagree?  Okay, then.  Let's take a look at a brief synopsis, with my italicized comments spread throughout.  Warning: spoilers ahead.  Okay now, shall we?

So, movie starts off with Boy meeting Girl.  Boy, promises to build dream house for girl.  Okay, love stories aren't my favorite, but whatever, let's continue.  Boy and Girl fall madly in love (obviously), but are unwillingly, and painfully separated.  Gee, life happens.  Boy (still in love with Girl) goes to war, gets hurt, and everyone thinks he's dead because of a clerical error.  I'll admit, that's a pretty tough break.  Girl, totally heartbroken upon news of Boy's death, tries to move on.  So far so good.  Boy, after coming home, decides to build house out of sheer boredom.  Not really, but I like that explanation better.

Girl meets New Guy, a nice guy who ends up falling in love with her.  To be expected.  Boy ends up screwing some Cheap Whore to bide his time.  Wow, what a great guy he's turning out to be.  Girl says she loves New Guy and and accepts his marriage proposal.  How cute (really!).  Boy, says he loves Cheap Whore as well, and she now wants Boy to marry her.  All right, he's getting slightly better.  But, Girl sees that Boy is still alive, and follows him home.  Wait, what?  Girl realizes she's a lying piece of sh*t, that doesn't really love New Guy like she said she did.  So, she and lying piece of sh*t Boy have a secret affair behind the back of her fiancee (New Guy) and Cheap Whore.  Okay, WTF?  How in the hell is that romantic?  New Guy and Cheap Whore, find out about said affair and get pissed off.  As well they should!  They just got played by a couple lying pieces of sh*t.  New Guy (being the better man) out of the great love he has for Girl, lets her go, so she can be happy as an adulterous harpy.  Okay, the only cool character just left the building. 

Now, fast forward half a century later, Boy and Girl are an old married couple.  Sheesh, I'm surprised they're married after both their track records.  Girl is suffering the divine justice that is Alzheimer's for her lying and adulterous life.  While Boy suffers the sweet, sweet karma of Girl never knowing who he is, as he vainly attempts everyday to get her to remember him by reading their sordid tale out of her notebook.  Holy crap, is it finally over? Nope!  The audience is now supposed to feel bad as the children of these bastards can't help Boy to get Girl to remember either.  See what great examples Gram and Gramps were, kids?  We should do sh*tty things in the name of love just like them!  (Featured in the sequel, Lying bastards: the next generation.)  Girl ends up dying from divine justice, and Boy dies soon after because of severe depression (karma). 

And there's why I will always be single.  I'd rather just be honest and true to myself, and come across as a jerk; instead of being a lying, two-timing bastard, all in the name of 'true love'.  So, in short, I hate that movie because it sucks, and anyone who likes it is freaking retarded (which includes almost every woman I know).  True love, my ass.  F that.
A recent picture of me.

When will they finally pay?

I'm the kind of guy that usally enjoys the bad guy in the movies a lot more than the good guy.  I just find it easier to empathize with them, and they more often than not, more complex and interesting characters.  But even without a solid or interesting bad guy, I do enjoy a lot of films with a non-happy ending.  Perhaps it is my morbid personality, or just my depressive mood swings, but one of these days, I just wanna see somebody make a good movie in which the the world is not saved, the girl dies, the likeable hero is paralyzied, and the hated bad guy reigns triumphant.  Like maybe a zombie movie, where only the jerk of the group survives, or a Bond-like spy flick in which the world actually ends because the hero is too late. 

Yeah, if I ever became a fimmaker, audiences would just hate me.  I would just love to make a movie in which the audience will enthusiastically root for the good guy, but then the baddie will prevail, without even a glimmer of hope at the end of the film.

Update:  Oh yeah, I forgot.  They did make that film.  It's called 'Law Abiding Citizen'.  Man, I hate that the bad guy won in that movie.  Worst ending ever.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


So, while down at the homefront, I managed to take (literally) just a few minutes to say hi to a friend of mine.  There are very few people who have earned my complete respect, and even fewer who have done so immediately.  Connie is one of those few.

In case you don't know her, Connie is a clerk at a popular sporting goods store down in St. George.  She has been manning a post behind the gun counter for at least five years now.  She is a strong and good natured woman, who is quick on the smiles.  She is well accomplished, in having competed in many shotgun competitions of various types, an accomplished pistol marksman, as well as being a CCW holder.  Not only is she one of the most knowledgeable on the staff, but also the most fun.

If I'm not mistaken, my mother was the one who introduced me to Connie, she being the one who helped my Mom purchase her first few guns.  I am always impressed by her genuine friendliness and eagerness to help.  She also has that very practical and informative way of selling you on a particular product, ensuring you get the right thing for you, rather than just getting the sale.  I don't always love to run down to the sporting goods store, but when I do, the primary reason I have to go to that one, is just to give my regards to our favorite person there; and that makes it all worthwhile.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Topic abandoned

So, I was gonna write something of note, but that just got pushed aside, because I just heard of a great place to go urban exploring.  Somehow, in conversation with a coworker, I heard of an abandoned county jail facility that fits the bill just nicely.  I may have to see if I can plan a late night excursion with a few friends and even fewer flashlights.  The word is the place is haunted, but I say humbug!  This is the perfect opportunity to satisfy my dormant desire to go and see something spooky. 

Click the pic for even more dubious info!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Back to the present

I'm beginning to think I honestly don't like vacations.  It just ends up throwing me out of that carefully constructed routine of actually enjoying work.  Thankfully, I have coworkers whose morale I can destroy to make myself feel a little better.  The hapless fools.  They play themselves right into my hands all too often.  My new goal is to get someone to tell me that I make them want to slit their wrists open.  Can you tell I'm even bored just writing this? 

So, I promise I'll write something of note (that's also less violent) sometime tomorrow.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I did it again

Yup, totally dropped off the face of the interwebz once more.  This time out of sheer laziness.  Well, not so much laziness, as just dumping all activities that were not an immediate priority. 

Of course, the homefront was hotter than satan's tanning bed, but worth it to see all the people I missed.  I was especially glad to see my brother and the mother-figure again.  Had a really good time, because I hardly had time to do much other than shoot guns the entire time I was there.  I arrived Saturday evening and we promptly went shooing, woke up next morning and went to church, then went shooting, then had dinner with more family, and next morning went shooting again.  Yeah, I guess we're big 2A people, huh?

And of course, I always manage to forget something whenever I go traveling, so I naturally don't have any pictures of any of these events...