Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Mall Ninja Gusta!

So, I got some nice unexpected range time the other day. My roomie was dying to sight in a new optic he got for his AR, and a friend of ours was coming along to try out the roomie's new USP and sight in his own rifle while there.  We went to an actual range, and had a fairly successful time, but noticed something rather hilarious.

It was in about the last 15 minutes of being there, when we noticed a lone man approaching the lanes.  He looked like he was in his early 30's, fairly tall, with bald/bic'd head, wearing a t-shirt and jeans.  These details are fairly common of a lot of people who frequent the range, but what set this winner apart, was the fact that he was sporting a massive kevlar vest (NOT an LBE) over his t-shirt, along with the most pretentious drop leg holster I have ever seen.  Seriously, this guy was wearing his holster lower than the average gangsta wears his pants.  The crowning achievement, is of course his massive Oakleys, to complete the ensemble.

When I first saw him, I was expecting others looking like him to show up, and I would assume it was a bunch of cops practicing some formations on the next range over, which is a common occurrence, but no dice.  I couldn't help but stare, and I was desperately fighting the urge to laugh out loud soooo hard.  I had never had the misfortune in all my life to run into any mall ninjas, but there he was.  He couldn't have looked more gay if he was walking around wearing a neon-green strap-on dildo, and no shirt.

Okay, I got nothing against owning a kevlar vest, or any other tactical gear, for that matter, provided that you use it for what it's made for.  I would totally have a vest and other gear myself for hauling around gear and protecting myself if things went all TEOTWAWKI.  However, dressing up with the most worthless holster known to man, with an old vest on top of your shirt, just to go to the range on a lazy afternoon, is not impressing anyone.  It just makes you look like some wanna-be moto prick, who is a poster child for mall ninjas and douchebags everywhere, while at the same time making everyone else who actually knows what they are doing, want to leave to go to a different range.

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