Okay, really stupid blog fodder time. As I've said before, I think of really dumb crap sometimes, and yesterday I had one that was over the top. I got some girl's phone number that day, and I can't help but think of crazy hypothetical scenarios within other hypothetical scenarios. So, with out further adieu, this is what transpired and the things I thought of. Remember viewers, some of these things are disturbing...
She approached me and told me, "Walk with me." I can't resist "West Wing" references of that magnitude, so I oblige. She asks if I have a pen and paper, and that I should take something down. I wonder if I'm going to be taking down a last will and testament for a moment, but then snap back to reality. So, after I'm given the aforementioned phone number, she tells me we should hang out sometime, then disappears into the night.
It's definitely not a bad thing to happen (far from it), but my mind wanders easily. She's a great girl, but she's got the same kind of crazy as me sometimes. So, I can't help but think, "Why the heck did she do this? I didn't think she liked me at all. Anytime I see her, we just argue about everything anyways." Then, my thoughts proceed to become less rational, somewhat fantastical, and even completely absurd: "Wait a minute. Maybe she aint really looking to hang out. Maybe this is some kind of front for a devious plan of some sort?"
That's when I picture myself calling a detective or some private investigator to get to the bottom of this puzzling activity. I imagine getting a call back, and being informed of three distinct scenarios of what may transpire if I go through with it. They are:
Scenario #1: After enjoying being around this person the first time, I begin to let my guard down. After some time, they slowly gain my complete trust and wait until my back is turned. That's when I am knocked unconscious. My body is later found hanging by my neck in my f-ing closet, with a forged suicide note.
Scenario #2: While perhaps enjoying a tasty beverage with this person, I realize all too late that my drink has been drugged. I awake hours later, bound to a table and gagged while heavily medicated. I see that my sternum is gaping open and that the assassination of JFK is being reenacted in front of me with my internal organs playing all the parts.
Scenario #3: I actually have a good time with this person, only to realize later that it was all a ruse. I've been used as a pawn in some small scale conspiracy to further her confidence with another. I become depressed and resort to drinking. By chance, I meet her in passing sometime later. I try to strike up a conversation, only to be shanked and shoved into a dark alleyway to bleed out completely on a cold winter night.
Now, I don't seriously think of these things happening, but this is just the crap my mind comes up with randomly when I have more than a moment to myself. My mind just moves at a million miles an hour, and if I'm standing still for any given time, it just has to think of something crazy to prevent me from becoming bored. I really do plan on calling this girl in the near future, and I also expect to have a great time. So, naturally I'm hoping for scenario #1.
She approached me and told me, "Walk with me." I can't resist "West Wing" references of that magnitude, so I oblige. She asks if I have a pen and paper, and that I should take something down. I wonder if I'm going to be taking down a last will and testament for a moment, but then snap back to reality. So, after I'm given the aforementioned phone number, she tells me we should hang out sometime, then disappears into the night.
It's definitely not a bad thing to happen (far from it), but my mind wanders easily. She's a great girl, but she's got the same kind of crazy as me sometimes. So, I can't help but think, "Why the heck did she do this? I didn't think she liked me at all. Anytime I see her, we just argue about everything anyways." Then, my thoughts proceed to become less rational, somewhat fantastical, and even completely absurd: "Wait a minute. Maybe she aint really looking to hang out. Maybe this is some kind of front for a devious plan of some sort?"
That's when I picture myself calling a detective or some private investigator to get to the bottom of this puzzling activity. I imagine getting a call back, and being informed of three distinct scenarios of what may transpire if I go through with it. They are:
Scenario #1: After enjoying being around this person the first time, I begin to let my guard down. After some time, they slowly gain my complete trust and wait until my back is turned. That's when I am knocked unconscious. My body is later found hanging by my neck in my f-ing closet, with a forged suicide note.
Scenario #2: While perhaps enjoying a tasty beverage with this person, I realize all too late that my drink has been drugged. I awake hours later, bound to a table and gagged while heavily medicated. I see that my sternum is gaping open and that the assassination of JFK is being reenacted in front of me with my internal organs playing all the parts.
Scenario #3: I actually have a good time with this person, only to realize later that it was all a ruse. I've been used as a pawn in some small scale conspiracy to further her confidence with another. I become depressed and resort to drinking. By chance, I meet her in passing sometime later. I try to strike up a conversation, only to be shanked and shoved into a dark alleyway to bleed out completely on a cold winter night.
Now, I don't seriously think of these things happening, but this is just the crap my mind comes up with randomly when I have more than a moment to myself. My mind just moves at a million miles an hour, and if I'm standing still for any given time, it just has to think of something crazy to prevent me from becoming bored. I really do plan on calling this girl in the near future, and I also expect to have a great time. So, naturally I'm hoping for scenario #1.
No comments:
Post a Comment