Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I just want a damn donut

If you want to destroy the fabric of society in my tri-state area, here's your secret weapon:
Because, I have only found ONE donut shop in the whole STATE that sells these things (well, ones that actually taste good anyways).

My story starts at about 7:30 this morning.  I was having a pretty crappy time at work, and decided I needed something to cheer me up.  So, I decided to stop by a highly recommended local bakery for the first time.  From what I keep hearing, this place is renowned for it's great (and highly rated) donuts.  I step into the place and here is a rundown of my conversation with the girl behind the counter.

Counter girl:  How can I help you?
Me:  Yeah, do you have any glazed old fashioned?
CG:  Excuse me?
Me:  Glazed old fashioned.
CG:  *gives me a puzzled look* I dunno if I've ever heard of that.  Can you describe it?
Me:  Seriously?  You haven't heard of one of the most popular types of donuts and you work at a donut shop? 
CG:  Well, just tell me what it looks like.
Me:  Forget it.  I can't be expected to explain something like that at this hour of the morning, we'll just get something else.  How about a blueberry donut?
CG:  Oh, we don't make those.
Me:  Huh?!
CG:  Well, our chef likes to use an old family recipe, and he doesn't like to alter it in any way.
Me:  Well, my grandmother didn't wanna buy a Buick, either.
CG:  What?
Me:  I'm saying your chef should stop being a whiny little B*&%! and just start making some real damn donuts.  Sheesh, It's not like your contaminating your other batches of donuts if he makes a new batter for some freaking glazed old fashioned or blueberry is he?
CG:  I guess...

Ugh, so it only goes downhill from there.


Being so determined to get some donuts, I ended up buying one of each type that they sell.  All three of 'em.  They call themselves a donut shop, and they only sell three types of friggin donuts?  Topping it all off,  is the fact that everyone behind the counter couldn't figure out for the life of them what the hell a glazed old fashioned donut is.  Just pathetic.  I swear, they thought I was just making that crap up.

Whatever, I'll still still give their "smaller than Red-Cross refugee ration"-sized selection a shot.  I ended up buying a couple chocolate cake, an apple fritter, and a glazed.  The cake donuts were surprisingly good, along with the glazed, but I'm quite sure the fritter was some kind of practical joke.  I ordered an apple fritter, but I doubt the thing had ANY apple in the whole darn thing.  Might as well have ordered bread and glaze with cinnamon.

Being more than jaded by this experience, my holy quest for a mildly decent local donut shop continues....

2 comments:

  1. Chef??? What kind of a Baker is a Chef? Sorry, I think you should have just left, went to a real doughnut shop, bought a glazed old fashion, brought it back and told them to "eat this!" Geez, "Rolling Pin, where are you now?"

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